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Tabu T-Shirts, Inc.  Best Sellers FEATURED SHIRT / SHIRT OF THE WEEK  FUR...SURE IS WARM! Not only is fur warm and snuggly, it makes great kindling for your fireplace or barbecue! Most importantly, it makes you look cool and that Color: Red on White Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small Who is Goldenrod? Animal Lovers? Contact  Religion About us Just For Girls FAQ Political View Cart Funny Business Shipping Wasted Legal Sex Message Board Anything Goes Theme Song 1 Burt Reynolds Theme Song 2 All Shirts Stop the music! FOR THOSE WHO DARE TO WEAR  MINIMUM WAGE Now you can proudly wear this shirt to your measely paying job and let the boss know that you're no loser, you're just not a winner yet.. Color: White on Black Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  ABORTION...MORE ROOM FOR ME! A must have for everyone who Color: White on Black Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  CRIME PAYS It sure does...especially when you Color: White on Black Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  I WAS GOING TO SEND MONEY TO A STARVING CHILD IN ETHIOPIA...BUT I BOUGHT THIS T-SHIRT INSTEAD. Does anyone in Ethiopia send you money when YOU Color: White on Black Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small FUR...SURE IS WARM! Not only is fur warm and snuggly, it makes great kindling for your fireplace or barbecue! Most importantly, it makes you look cool and that Color: White on Black Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  HAROLD There Color: White on Black Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  HELL...IT This one is kind of a nice way of describing what hell is like without having to mention the scalding brimstone, unbearable torture, demonic rape and Friends re-runs! Color: White/Red on Black Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  I ACCELERATE FOR ANIMALS By accelerating when coming upon a road creature, you show great mercy and compassion instead of driving over the poor animal very slowly, which would hurt him for a long time. Color: White on Black Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  I We Color: White on Black Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  NOBODY KNOWS I'M INVISIBLE Got the power of invisibility? Nobody knows about it? Want to get the word out? This one's for you brother! Get it before is disappears from our inventory forever. Yes, FOREVER! Color: White on Black Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  PEEPSHOW MOPBOY Hey, somebody's gotta do it, and somewhere there's a mother who's proud! Color: White on Black Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  PLEASE GOD DON'T LET THE PRIEST TOUCH ME AGAIN Sunday morning mass, bible studies, weddings and funerals Color: White on Black Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  PROFESSIONAL CHICKEN DEBEAKER It may be mean and cruel, but nobody wants a beak in their next bucket of KFC. Color: White on Black Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  READING SUKS! Do you really want to waste hours upon hours of your life reading some stupid book, when you could just watch the movie in 90 minutes?? This one's a no brainer people!! Color: White on Black Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  SATAN Between playing lawn darts with your dead grandmother and planning the world's untimely demise, even the devil has a heart when it comes to little pussies. Who could resist? Color: White on Black Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  SAVE THE TUNA Those poor tuna fish are getting eaten by the millions every day, does anybody even care!? Meanwhile dolphins get to do their stupid tricks and swim wherever they want without a care in the world! It's just not right! Color: White on Black Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  SPEAR THE WHALES! Isn't it much easier to spear a whale and let it sink to the bottom of the ocean than to waste precious time and taxpayers money to try and save it? Please Color: White on Black Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  TAX THE HOMELESS The government takes taxes out of your paycheck! Then you pay tax on almost everything you buy! Then they tax you when you die! How come the homeless get to live tax free?? Wear this shirt and help to put an end to this unbelieveable atrocity! Color: White on Black Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  THE POPE IS A ROBOT We all know that the pope has been dead for quite some time now, but for some strange reason millions of people still think he's eating pancakes for breakfast and doing doodie after dinner. Not true. We checked the Pope's original birth certificate which states his birthday as January third, 1842! That would make him 162 years old! We just don't buy it. Color: White on Black Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  THESE ARE MY GOOD CLOTHES Dress up nice and pretty in this stylish piece designed by Emanuel Sokovski, one of our top fashion designers here at Tabu. You'll be the envy of everyone at your next formal event. We guarantee it! P.S. Bring a pen to sign autographs Color: White on Black Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  TWO SMART TO WORK Waking up early, driving in traffic, having someone tell you what to do all day long. Your salary at the mercy of someone who could care less Color: White on Black Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  HITMAN FOR HIRE So you flunked out of highschool, got fired from McDonalds, and 7-11 won't hire you because you aren't Indian. You could become a cop, but that's just too demeaning. Your only alternative....Kill people! Not only is it spiritually rewarding, it's also both fun and profitable! Color: White/Red on Black Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  AUNT JUDY'S ARMORED TANK INTERIORS There are so many gay interior design shows on these days, even our soldiers are getting into the act. Don't ask, Don't Tell! Color: Black on Olive Green Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  DRINKING AND DRIVING IS FUN It's extra fun when the cop lets you go because you have a PBA card, then on your way back to the bar, you run down his mother. Color: Black on Khaki Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER Let the neighborhood know you're legal! Not recommended to wear when applying for babysitting jobs or cub scout leader positions. The church will still hire you though. Color: Black on Gray Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  GLORY HOLE INSPECTOR After a rash of horrific accidents in early 1786, the state of California declared that all glory holes must conform to the strict standards set forth in article 46, page 3, section 12:b7. We don't know what the hell that means either, but better to be safe than sorry, just ask George Michael Color: Olive on Gold Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  HIGH ON CRACK! Let's face it, Crack ain't cheap, and you have to be smoking it to be wearing a suit and working 9 to 5 every day thinking you are actually getting somewhere in life. You can numb your mind to your miserable reality just as easily by sniffing inexpensive turpentine down behind the donut shop with the rest of the "free spirits" Color: Black on Gray Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  I'LL SHOW YOU YOURS IF YOU SHOW ME MINE! This is what former President Clinton was wearing that fateful night when he ran into that disgusting fat whore Lewinski. Color: White on Charcoal Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  I LOST 157 POUNDS IN ONE DAY With all the fad diets going on today, this is the only one that really delivers solid results. Not only will you feel a tremendous weight lifted off of your shoulders, but it will also be a lot quieter around the house while you are trying to watch football. Color: Black on Gray Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  I LOVE TO F*** He may look old, but this guys rod is still limber and ready for action! Color: Yellow on Olive Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  I'M DRUNK Wearing this shirt sure beats trying to explain to strangers why you are wearing your sisters thong at the train station covered in axle grease, spam, and hamster fur. Color: White on Burgundy Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  MATH GONE WILD Forget the steroids and countless hours in the gym, everyone knows that calculus teachers are always getting laid, its wild!!! Color: Black on White Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  OZONE SHMOZONE Sea level has risen 5 feet in the last 2 years and wiped out Hawaii. Yesterday it was 120 degrees out and you get skin cancer after 14 minutes outside....but who gives a shit as long as you are looking stylish.
Spray away! Color: White on Blue Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  SNUFF FILM ACTOR Bored with all types of sex? Orgies with midget Samoans dressed as maniacal clowns not getting you excited any longer? Let Hollywood know that you have arrived. Just don't expect any paparazzi to be snapping your photos anytime soon. Color: Red on White Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  SPLEEN FOR SALE! Rent due? Have some credit card debt? Or just need some quick cash to score a handjob? Sell it today before it gets surgically removed in an unauthorized and unsterile medical procedure by aliens looking to replenish their eco-system. Color: Black on Red Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  STICKY PETE'S FAMISHED TERMITE INFESTATION SERVICE The perfect last minute gift for all those friends of yours who are always bragging about their expensive hand carved mahogony furniture. Color: Black on Yellow Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  WHAT'S THE HURRY? Slow down, relax, light one up and just chill. No rush. You'll get there eventually. At some point. You know what they say... those who are late are much happier than those who are waiting for them! Color: Full Color on White Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  COCAINE Wait, so you mean to tell me you sniff this stuff to get high?? I just thought it was because it smells just like grandma's fresh baked canary pies. Color: Rust on Black Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  IT'S WHATS ON THE OUTSIDE THAT COUNTS! Ever notice that the people that tell you it's what's on the inside are all repulsively fat and ugly?? You do the math, you sexy bastard you........ Color: Blue on Black Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  IT'S WHATS ON THE OUTSIDE THAT COUNTS So you are dumber than an earthworm, So what! You have big breasts and a sweet ass, and that can get you all the guys and money you need. White colored shirt perfect for wet t-shirt contests! Color: Black/Blue on White Size: Select Size Girls X-Large Girls Large Girls Medium Girls Small  KISS ME Wear this shirt and people won't be able to keep their lips off of you; including priests, nuns and that old cafeteria lady with the mustache that smells like asparagus. Color: Full Color on White Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  MARRIAGE...SURE RUINS A GREAT SEX LIFE! Before I took that walk down the isle she was letting me violate her in all kinds of filthy ways, now I have carpal tunnel syndrome....don't make the same mistake that I and millions of other horny guys have! Color: Grey on White Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  RETARDS NEVER TELL! "Shhhhhhh, Johnny, if you don't do exactly as I say, God will kill your parents" These days even this line doesn't work on the smart kids, it's a much safer bet with someone who has a hard time eating peas. Color: Priest on Young Boy Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  STOP BREATHING...IM TRYING TO SMOKE. Tired of all that complaining from that crabby old hag sitting in the church pew behind you with the oxygen tank? Shut her up quick with this beautiful shirt from Tabu. Every moron knows that if god didn't want us to smoke, he wouldn't have invented cigarettes. Color: White on Navy Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  TURN OVER A NEW LEAF Turn over a new leaf and change your life for the better, after all, it didnt have any negative effects on Ozzy. Not recommended attire for visits to your probation officer. Color: Cannabis Green on Grey Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  VOTE FOR ANARCHY Once Anarchy breaks out, things will pretty much be the same except the taxes will be lower and you will need a machine gun to defend your toilet paper from roving gangs of looters Color: Red/White/Blue on Black Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  WANNA HOLD MY SNAKE? This one is perfect to wear when hanging out with nuns, catholic schoolgirls or even your best friend's smelly grandmother! They all love to hold snakes! Color: Full Color on White Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  WHO IS GOLDENROD? The shirt that started it all! If you get spotted wearing this shirt, you could win $10,000! Color: Goldenrod Yellow on Black Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  I'LL SHOW YOU YOURS IF YOU SHOW ME MINE This is what that disgusting fat whore Lewinski was wearing that fateful night when she ran into former President Bill Clinton. Color: White on Red Size: Select Size Girls X-Large Girls Large Girls Medium Girls Small  MEN COME AND GO BUT DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER Girls, what is more important? Having a caring man to shower you with love and affection, only to turn around and bang your sister while you are at cheerleading practice, or an expensive shiny ring that you can always hock for tampon money when times get tough? Color: Black On Pink Size: Select Size Girls X-Large Girls Large Girls Medium Girls Small  STOP UNDRESSING ME WITH YOUR EYES Let everyone know that you are easy and want to be touched all over like a bad little girl. Color: Black on Baby Blue Size: Select Size Girls X-Large Girls Large Girls Medium Girls Small  WHO IS GOLDENROD? The shirt that started it all! If you get spotted wearing this shirt, you could win $10,000! White Color Perfect for wet T-Shirt contests!!! Color: Goldenrod Yellow on White Size: Select Size Girls X-Large Girls Large Girls Medium Girls Small  NOBODY KNOWS I'M INVISIBLE Got the power of invisibility? Nobody knows about it? Want to get the word out? This one's for you sister! Get it before is disappears from our inventory forever. Yes, FOREVER! Color: White on Black Size: Select Size Girls X-Large Girls Large Girls Medium Girls Small  READING SUKS! Do you really want to waste hours upon hours of your life reading some stupid book, when you could just watch the movie in 90 minutes?? This one's a no brainer people! Color: White on Black Size: Select Size Girls X-Large Girls Large Girls Medium Girls Small  BEARS MAKE GREAT RUGS One shot and you could have yourself a brand new beautiful fuzzy rug for your bathroom floor just like Burt Reynolds does. Nobody likes to walk on a cold floor with wet feet! Color: Brown Fur on Brown Cotton Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  INSULTS $1.00 Rude, sarcastic, inconsiderate and just plain mean? Does this sound like anyone you know? Well, you might as well start charging people for it, they all hate you anyway! Color: Blue/Green on Black Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  NERVOUS NICK'S LANDMINE PLACEMENT AND ACTIVATION COMPANY Neighborhood kids cutting through your backyard? Rabbits and squirrels chewing up your garden? Neighbor's dog crapping on your sidewalk? Let Nervous Nick blast away your troubles in a jiffy! Call Today! Fully Insured! Color: Black on White Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  I'M HERE! TURN ON THE DANGER MUSIC! Nothing adds to a great public appearance like high pressure danger music in the background, and if you're a superhero crimefighter or a diabolical evil mastermind in today's hectic world, you need this shirt, just in case! Color: White/Red on Charcoal Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  STOP FREE MUSIC! Burt Reynolds, the easter bunny and God all agree, music should continue to be traded for free over the internet. But for those musicians who think they can make money with their songs, support the cause and buy this shirt! Color: White on Black Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  THE VIRGIN MARY BLOW UP DOLL EVERYONE LOVE'S THE VIRGIN MARY, AND SO SHOULD YOU ANYTIME YOU WANT! BETTER THAN THOSE STUPID GRILLED CHEESE SHIRTS, THIS ONE WILL SURELY MAKE YOU THE TALK OF THE TOWN! Color: Black on White Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  HEY KIDS, SANTA IS NOT REAL! JUST IN TIME TO SPREAD SOME HOLIDAY CHEER! CHRISTMAS PARTY AT WORK COMING UP? GOING OVER TO GRANDMA'S FOR SOME HUCKLEBERRY PIE? GOING SHOPPING AT THE MALL NEXT WEEK? DON THIS SHIRT AND SANTA WILL BE SHITTING HIS PANTS! Color: Red on White Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  I WAS BITTEN BY A COPPERHEAD AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY T-SHIRT! Hey, so the venom destroyed most of your blood tissue and you're rotting away from the inside out; at least you can look like a movie star in your cool new shirt from Tabu! SSSSSSSSS! Color: Full Color on White Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  LEGGO MY GECKO! Is everyone always snatching your gecko right out from under your nose? Put an end to this rudeness immediately! Next time someone wants to touch your gecko, they'll think twice! Just make sure you get parental consent! Color: Full Color on White Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small  MIDGETS MAKE GREAT PETS! You know if Burt says it - it's got to be true! Would he lie? Color: Black on White Size: Select Size Mens XX-Large (add $1.00) Mens X-Large Mens Large Mens Medium Mens Small |
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